Millennial Relationships…… "It’s Complicated"

The millennial generation, which spans from the ages of 18-33, has been donned as the most progressive by some. It is a generation that is supportive of most principles that hold equality, freedom, and free will at the forefront. This is amazing because it means that we’re moving towards a better world; or so it seems. For the most part, millennials support gay marriage, transgenders, and other alternative lifestyles in ways that previous generations did not. However, Where the millennial generation seems to take a rather interesting approach is towards monogamous relationships. There is perhaps too much freedom because commitment seems to be a thing of the past. Young adults are seeing less relationships and more complicated situations, or as Rapper, Fabolous calls it “Situationships.” Some of it may be due to the instability of the previous generation. In regards to the urban population of generation X , they were raised in the 80’s at the height of the crack epidemic where the black family structure basically disintegrated. A lot of fathers were absent in the lives of their children either due to death, imprisonment or just deadbeat behavior. The millennial generation most likely never saw love in their households, therefore, they have no love to give.

There has always been a social construct set where men are praised for having multiple women. Infidelity is nothing new and I’m sure even our father’s fathers have had “options.” This generation has taken it to another level. It’s to the point that both individuals in a monogamous relationship have absolutely no respect for each other. Women have developed such a lack of trust for men that they’ve started to act like men. The narrative is changing. Women having multiple suitors at their will is starting to be deemed as a positive. If both sexes think that having multiple mates is what’s cool, where does love play in? Perhaps this change in the mindset of women is past due. I mean how long do women have to endure pain from the men they love before they decide to rebel? The truth is it’s all a defense mechanism. Love is a game of chance and no one wants to roll the dice.

In regards to the change in the mindset of Women, the feminist movement has played a big role in bringing that forth. For example the quote “My P**** my choice” which has been circling around the media. That quote promotes the promiscuity of women; something that would’ve been looked down upon in previous generations. Amber Rose has been championing this way of thinking for the last year. Women are rising up against this patriarchal society and aiming to change social constructs. Females that are only notable for their sexual history are gaining fame.

The “it’s complicated” phenomenon that I’m referring to is obviously reflected all over pop culture. Nowhere is it more noticeable than the genre of R&B. This genre which for decades was known for making songs about love and commitment has changed. R&B now promotes the same player mentality as rap music. Truthfully, current R&B is just a reflection of the time we’re in. When we here Chris Brown say “These h*** ain’t loyal” or Trey Songz refer to himself as “Mr. Steal your girl” they are just speaking on the current male perceptions of monogamous relationships. For men it’s business as usual. The new mindset of millennial women has caused men to have further distrust for women. If Men were said to be “trifling” and “dogs” before, it will only get worse now that women are adopting that same way of thinking. That leaves us in a ridiculous game where neither individuals want to catch feelings first. We may have missed the love of our lives or amazing relationships because we chose to focus our attention on many potentials instead of one sure thing.

When the words “it’s complicated” are said, it could only mean one of these two things. Either one person is a hopeless romantic that’s not getting back the love they give, or both individuals do indeed feel something for each other but excessive pride and a lack of trust is clouding their road to happiness. Previous generations have gone through these scenarios but millennials seem to deal with more because now both the men and women are “players” which means they were never truly committed. Both sides always leave themselves open to more options in regards to potential lovers.

Although these things are taking hold there are still some men and women who love hard and are willing to make a commitment. They get hurt the most because unfortunately their morals are antiquated. It is indeed a hook-up culture and if you want to hold on to your morals, prepare for pain.

PEACE!

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