If Birdman vs. The Breakfast Club Happened In Jamaica

So it’s nearly a week later and — even with Beyoncé and Drake dropping new albums — Birdman still has the Internet ablaze, following his interview with The Breakfast Club, that came to an abrupt end. There are endless memes floating around, videos that have chopped up clips of the interview, and even songs (like this one).

While I still stand behind Birdman 100%, I can’t lie; the stuff I have been seeing is pretty damn funny. So today, I decided to have a little fun of my own. Below is a transcript of the now infamous interview. The only thing is, it’s written how it would have been, if this happened in Jamaica.

Hopefully no one gets offended, as we are just trying to make light of the situation. Read this in the voice of your favorite Jamaican and enjoy a laugh, on me.

Birdman: Yuh ready?

DJ Envy: Yah, mon.

Birdman: Mi wan fi start dis off… All tree of yuh… Stop playin’ wid mi name.

DJ Envy: Let’s go, mon.

Birdman: Stop playin’ wid mi rassclaat name.

Charlamagne: Let’s dweet pon di camera.

Birdman: Stop playin’ wid mi name, and mi nah guh sey it no more. When mi name say, respeck it. Stop playin’ wid mi rassclaat name. All tree of yuh. Stop playin’ wid mi name. Mi nuh guh sey it no more.

DJ Envy: Gud mawnin’! It’s DJ Envy, Angela Yee an’ Charlamagne di God. We Di Breakfast Club, an’ wi ‘ave a special guest inna di building…

Charlamagne: Him already ‘ave cursed at wi. Tell dem why yuh mad, Birdman.

Birdman: Mi say it, a’ready. Wi nuh haffi chat, no more.

Charlamagne: Mi nuh understand.

Birdman: Mi say it, a’ready.

Charlamagne: Why yuh come, yah, mon?

Birdman: Mi did it, a’ready. Mi here. Waah gwan?

Charlamagne: Mi irie, mon!

Birdman: Mi here, mon. Waah gwan?

Charlamagne: Mi irie, but mi saying. Why yuh come, jus’ fi argue?

Birdman: Mi here. Waah gwan, mon? Mi wanted fi si yuh… Mi wanted fi chat to yuh like a mon, inna yuh face.

Charlamagne: Absolutely.

Birdman: Yuh understand mi? Mi kno a few places weh yuh did. Mi could ‘ave pulled up pon yuh, but mi nuh tink dat was gangsta. Mi wanted fi come an’ look at yuh inna di face, like a mon an tell yuh ‘ow mi feel.

Charlamagne: Okay.

Birdman: Yuh understand mi? Straight up, like a mon.

Charlamagne: Waah di issue?

Birdman: There is no issue, mon. Eff there did an issue, yuh wud feel mi. Mi jus’ come fi let yuh know, put some respeck pon mi name. Yuh understand mi? Wen yuh sey mi name, put some respeck pon it.

Charlamagne: Yuh pull up pon Ross dat way? Or Trick Daddy?

Birdman: Mi pullin’ up pon you, bloodclaat.

Charlamagne: But mi di radio guy!

Birdman: Mi nuh care who yuh!

Charlamagne: Nuh act like a bad mon wid di radio guy!

Birdman: Hey, mon. Yuh finished or yuh done? Mi nuh ‘ave no more chat.

Also, check out P. Blackk’s hilarious mashup, simply titled “Respeck”.

https://soundcloud.com/pblackk/respeck-prod-by-p-blackk