Alright, Katt. You’re On Your Ninth Life

I remember when I first got introduced to you, Katt. I was at the movies with my family, seeing who knows what, when the theatre showed a preview for Friday After Next. Of course, the movie looked funny as all hell, thanks to the reoccurring cast members and their never-ending hijinks. But I also noticed some new additions to the cast. There was Terry Crews, who played the role of ‘Damon’. There was this fine ass actress named K.D. Aubert. She played ‘Donna’. Lastly, and most notably, there was you; this short, funny dressing, perm-having pimp character known as ‘Money Mike’, and every scene that featured you, had me in tears. It was then that I knew I was going to see Friday After Next (which I did, and thoroughly enjoyed). In Friday, ‘Smokey’ was the one who got everyone’s attention. In Next Friday, it was ‘Day-Day’. But in Friday After Next, ‘Money Mike’ stole the show, and it was that very role that gained you a bunch of new fans, and took your career to the next level.

You went on to land numerous movie roles, including a role in Norbit, as well as in First Sunday, where you reunited with Ice Cube (With all due respect, both of those movies sucked, fam). However, it was your talent as a stand-up comedian that began to shine super bright. At a time when stand-up comedy was kind of drying up, you came through and saved the day, giving us all something to laugh at, once again. Although it’s hard to choose, my favorite special of yours has to be It’s Pimpin’, Pimpin’. The part about the tigers never, ever gets old, bro. “This cage right here, nigga?! I wish a muthafucka would!” Classic! My girlfriend, at the time, hated me, because I walked around our apartment all day reciting lines from that special. You had a crazy run as a comedian, man. No one can take that from you. Your brand of comedy was bigger than just jokes and punchlines. You got on that stage and told real-life stories that we could all relate to, while simultaneously making us laugh until we cried. Then you got off the horse. Kind of. You retired, but you didn’t, but you did. I don’t know man. It was weird.

Then all Hell broke loose. The whole entire Hell. Broke to a million pieces, bro.

You started catching hella cases, man. Rap sheet ended up longer than songs at Sunday service. Getting caught with guns. Random scuffles with people. Remember when you led police on a low-speed chase with your… three-wheeler? Not to mention you were hanging out with Suge Knight, and well, yeah. We don’t have to say much else about him.

You did well after that though! You kept a pretty low-profile. You stayed out of the way, and seemingly out of trouble.

Until recently.

What the hell are you doing, Katt?! You’re punching store clerks (again), like that’s dope. You didn’t learn from the Target incident? Then you got people coming forward saying you and your goons are robbing them, taking their phones and whatnot. You’re running around the country trying to air out Kevin Hart, as well as threatening to end Chris Rock. Then, for whatever reason, you decide to get rowdy at a Beanie Sigel show and get stomped out. The worst part about this situation is that I will never hear “What We Do” the same again, thanks to you. I’ll always have that image of you squaring up (or dancing) in my head.

This most recent incident has to be the last straw though.

I was busy mourning the passing of Phife, a member of the legendary group, A Tribe Called Quest, when I was distracted with more of your antics. A video surfaced of you, not only punching a kid square in the face, but also being choked out by that same kid. I saw the video, you were provoked after trying to do some good in the ‘hood, but still. You can’t just punch kids in the face! You might be built like a kid, but you are not one. You are a grown ass man, who should’ve used his better judgment. But because you didn’t, you’re once again in a legal dilemma.

Look, man. I want you to be great. Hell, as far as comedians go, you already are. You have to chill. This wild road you’re currently on, absolutely has to end now. We get it, Katt. You aren’t soft. You might only be 3 feet tall, but you got the heart of… I don’t know… Somebody big as hell. This shit is bad though. All of these episodes are only going to result in you losing your freedom, or worse, your life. Get yourself together, Katt. Get you some help. I don’t agree with most of what’s been going on or support it, but I’m cheering for you to turn it around, because you’re talented as hell and from Ohio, like me. Fade away, Katt Williams. Fade away and get right.