No one was safe in Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones. “I choose violence” was the slogan for this week’s episode of Thrones. It was practically the only theme in “No One”, granted there were a few clips of comic relief courtesy of Tyrion and Bronn. Tyrion also let us in on what he wants to be when he grows up; a vineyard owner. His wine would be called The Imp’s Delight. Who wouldn’t buy that? HBO if you are not already on this, first off shame on you and secondly give me a call and we’ll get this ball rolling.

*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. I mean unless you like spoilers…***

Heads were rolling freely in this week’s Thrones. The Clegane brothers were both back in action, slaying the day away. The Hound chose to use an axe to brutalize and decapitate his enemies while his brother, The Mountain, opted to use his bare hands, which was freaking awesome by the way!

Back in Braavos Arya weak and bleeding, made her way back to Lady Crane who helped heal Arya’s wounds. Unfortunately this would prove to be fatal for the Lady as she is murdered by Waif mere hours after dressing Arya’s wounds. Arya and Waif then play a short game of cat and mouse only for Arya to kill her and walk away victorious. Arya then heads back to the House of Black and White and confronts Jaqen H’ghar where she learns she has finally become no one. She turns the table on Jaqen H’ghar and tells him she is not no one. She is Arya Stark from Winterfell and she is going home.

Speaking of going home, Lord Varys sets sail for Westeros and Daenerys returns to Mereen just in the nick of time. The masters have sailed to Mereen to reclaim their slaves, burning down everything in their path.

At King’s Landing King Tommen delivers the biggest slap in the face to his own mother by banishing trail by combat, calling the practice barbaric and cowardly. Instead he informs Cersei and everyone else in the room that Cersei and Lancel will stand trial by seven septums like how it was back in the olden days.

Cersei’s face after hearing the announcement:

via GIPHY

Riverrun was no walk in the park either. #pooredmure

As predicted Edmure regained control of The Castle at Riverrun and ordered his men to stand down. This did not sit well with Blackfish, who according to one of Jamie’s men, died fighting. As we all know well by now, if a character is not killed on screen then there is a chance that character is not actually dead. Only time will tell.

Podrick and Brienne also join the ranks at Riverrun. Podrick received some fighting lessons from Bronn while Brienne shared some sweet moments with Jamie. In hopes to not have to battle Jamie and defend Sansa’s kin, Brienne attempted to persuade Blackfish to hand over the castle to Jamie. He flat out refuses but helps ensure that Podrick and Brienne are able to escape the castle safely.

Next on Game of Thrones:

Jon and his army take on the Bolton’s to regain the North.

Can you believe there are only two episodes left? Where does the time go?

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*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY***

Welcome back Little Finger aka Petyr Baelish and his equally creepy nephew Robin Arryn (seriously this kid has some issues. Always wanting to throw people out of the moon door). Lord Baelish enlists the help of said nephew to send the Knights of the Veil to rescue Sansa from the Bolton’s.

Back at Castle Black, Sansa is reunited with Jon and we get a handful of really sweet brother/sister moments. Sansa then spends most of her time with Jon trying to convince him to gather the Wildlings and take the North back from Ramsay and his army. At first Jon flat out says no. He has done his fair share of fighting and doesn’t want to do it anymore. That is until a letter from Ramsay reaches Jon and stating that Ramsay is holding the youngest Stark, Rickon, hostage in his dungeon. The letter then goes on to describe how Ramsay will defile Sansa and all the Wildling women and children that are under his protection if Jon does not return his bride. Also did anyone else catch the sexual tension between Brienne of Tarth and Tormund Giantsbane?

Ramsay got a new toy in this episode. Just kidding. That b**** is dead. R.I.P. Osha.

Speaking of Ramsay’s former toys, Theon Greyjoy rejoined his iron-born brethren, although Yara was less than welcoming to her brother. Granted she thought he had only come to claim the salt throne. Continuing on the road to redemption Theon sets out to help his sister claim the salt throne.

House Tyrell and Lannister team up to save Margery and Loras from having to purge their sins in front of all of King’s Landing. Olenna Tyrell must be real desperate in order to accept help from Cersei and Jamie.

Soaking up the sun in Mereen, Tyrion makes a deal with the slave masters in Daenerys’ absence giving them 7 years to completely abolish slavery in exchange for their compliance in no longer funding the Sons of Harpy. This causes issues with Grey Worm, Missandei and the locals who are eagerly awaiting their Queen’s return.

Jorah and Daario locate Daenerys at The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak). They attempt a rescue after a short lived pissing match. When the two reach Daenerys, she sets an even bigger play into motion turning her trial in front of the Khal’s into a barbeque. The Mother of Dragons exits the temple unharmed and new ruler of the Dothraki. Who run the world? Daenerys!

I am left with some burning questions after Sunday’s episode:

Will the Knights of the Veil join Sansa, Jon and the Wildlings on their quest to regain the north? Are there still families in the north loyal to the Starks? Will we see more action and less exposition anytime soon?

Next week:

WHITE WALKERS & THE NIGHT’S KING!!!!!! YAHHHHHHHSSSSSS!!!!! — Hopefully this isn’t just a vision via our favorite warg Bran Stark

Not that these other clips matter but….

Sansa confronts Little Finger

Arya begins the work of the many-faced men

Yara claims the Salt Throne

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He has risen.

Members of the Game of Thrones Fandom rejoiced after Sunday’s episode. Jon Snow’s fate was finally revealed. I haven’t been this excited since Joffrey died (sorry, not sorry).

*** Stop right here if you have not seen tonight’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS LIE AHEAD ***

And the verdict is……

HE’S ALIVE!!!!!!

via GIPHY

This was one of the highs of the episode. The majority of the hour was, well…. To say dark would be a gross understatement.
Ramsay goes on a murder spree after he learns his father’s wife, Lady Bolton, has bore a son; a direct threat to his succession of the throne as this baby is not a bastard. Ramsay begins his spree by murdering his father in cold blood (does Game of Thrones really do it any other way?). Stabbing him right in front of the man who delivered news of the healthy baby to Lord Bolton. He then demands said man send word to the North that Lord Bolton was poisoned by his enemies. Ramsay then asks for Lady Bolton and the baby. She is under the impression that Lord Bolton has sent for her. She soon learns of Ramsay’s deed and pleads for her life and her newborn son’s. To which Ramsay replies “I always preferred being an only child”. Then this f****** savage whistles to his hounds who descend upon the defenseless duo. They are shredded to bits off screen although we can hear their screams.

The Greyjoys are also on the receiving end of murder by relative. In this case Balon Greyjoy is pushed off of a rickety, old, wooden bridge (they really should fix that) by his brother Euron Greyjoy, a member of the Iron Islands clan who is known for being a feared pirate on the high seas. Yara Greyjoy watches as her father’s body is pushed out to sea. She believes she is the heir to the throne but learns that may not be the case, as successors of the Salt Throne are determined by a Kingsmoot (a traditional ceremony held by inhabitants of the Iron Islands in which kings were chosen by longship captains). Yara states she will find out who killed her father and feed them, alive, to the sharks. This all awaits Theon as he ventures his way back to the Iron Islands.

While we’re on the topic of murder…. The Night’s Watch have been overthrown by Eddison Tollett and a band of Wildlings. All involved with Jon’s murder have been locked away. Their fate to be determined.
On a lighter note. Welcome back Bran Stark! In this episode we see Bran training with the Three-Eyed Raven. In his training we get to see a young Ned Stark and Rickard Stark (sidebar — what happened to this guy?) sparing. We also catch a glimpse Lyanna Stark, whom we know very little about. However, what we do know is that Ned did not like to speak of her. Did something tragic happen to her as well? Bran also sees a young Hodor, whose real name is Willis. In this vision we see Hodor is able to speak and fight.

The young Arya Stark also completes a part of her training and moves on to the next phase in becoming a face-less man. She is no longer a beggar. We are once again graced with the presence of Jaqen H’ghar. What exactly does he have in store for her? It looks like we will find out more next week.
Back at King’s Landing, Tommen and Jamie attend the funeral of Myrcella. Cersei is not invited to attend. After mourning his beloved sister, Tommen returns to his mother’s side and apologizes for not being strong enough to protect Cersei from her infamous walk of shame. He then proceeds to ask for her help in becoming a stronger leader.
Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion. His one-liners are on point this episode. Our favorite Lannister decides to take it upon himself to interact with Viserion and Rhaegal (Daenerys’ dragons). After a few heart-pounding moments and a sweet childhood story, he is able to gain the trust of the dragons and unchain them. After briskly walking away from his new dragon friends, Tyrion tells Lord Varys to punch him in the face next time he comes up with an idea like that.
So now that Jon has gotten a haircut, beard trim, a bath, oh and let’s not forget a resurrection all at the hands of Melisandre, what will our Lord and Commander do with his second chance at life?
Next Week:
Jon is reintroduced to all at Castle Black.
Arya and Bran continue their training.
Daenerys makes her way to The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak).
Ramsay receives a gift.

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It’s official. The wait is finally over! Only mere hours ago season 6 of Game of Thrones premiered. The episode titled, The Red Woman.

*** Stop right here if you have not seen tonight’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS LIE AHEAD ***

Picking up right where we left off last season, we momentarily gaze upon Jon Snow’s cold, dead body, moments before Davos Seaworth is alerted by Ghost’s barking to the tragic scene. Other members loyal to our former Lord and Commander come rushing to his side, vowing to take action against those who brought down our beloved Jon Snow. Grabbing Jon’s body they relocate him and Ghost into Davos’s holding and board up the room with their swords as their only defense.

Later in the episode we catch up with Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy who are on the run from Ramsey’s hunters and hounds. The two cross a practically frozen river and seek shelter under a toppled-over tree only to be tracked by Ramsey’s hunters and hounds. As they are about to be captured Brienne of Tarth and Podrick come to their rescue, slaughtering everyone in sight. Brienne once again swears her loyalty to Sansa who accepts.

Sansa & Theon crossing a freezing river

Back in Dorne, Prince Doran Martell and his son, Trystane Martell are brutally murdered by Ellaria, Obara, Tyene and Nymeria Sand. At least Trystane’s death was quicker than his father’s; he took a spear through the skull while his father bled out from being stabbed in the chest. Myrcella’s corpse (killed via poison on her way back from Dorne) and Jamie arrive back in King’s Landing, greeted by a broken down and beaten Cersei.

Cersei’s downward spiral of shame and guilt continues with the news of her daughter’s death. She feels as though she has failed, in her words, her perfectly, pure daughter. Everything has been taken from her and she lets Jamie know that this was all foreseen in a prophecy a witch told her long ago. Jamie comforts Cersei and vows revenge on all who have wronged the Lannister’s.

On the other side of Westerns, Jorah and Daairo set out to find Daenerys and discover she has been taken by a Khalassar. Daenerys is captured by another Khal group and momentarily becomes their slave until she reveals she was married to Khal Drago. Khal Moro, the leader of this pack, says no one will harm her but she must go to where the other Khal widows are to live out her days; The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak).

In this episode we also catch a glimpse of Arya Stark. She is a blind peddler on the streets but is still being trained by Waif. If you call beating a blind, defenseless girl with a stick, training. We also catch up with Tyrion and Lord Varys who are busy trying to figure out who is calling the shots for the gold faces. As they are walking the streets of Meereen we see a shot of someone spying on their conversation before all of the city’s ships are burned to a crisp.

Although the first half of this episode felt like it flew by because of all the cuts to different locations, the pace of the second half slowed down just enough to uncover one of the most exciting story arcs of the episode. We jump back to Castle Black and discover Melisandre is actually a witch and not just some crazy woman! Say what? We watch as she undresses in front of a mirror. She then removes her necklace, the first time we see her do this on screen, and once it is removed she transforms into an old woman.

Questions we are left asking after this episode’s conclusion: Now that we have seen Melisandre’s true nature, can she actually rise Jon Snow from the dead? Will Brienne and company make it to Castle Black? And if they do, what lies in store for them? Who is burning the ships in Meereen and why? What exactly will Jamie do to exact his revenge? What will become of Dorne now that the Prince and his heir are dead?

Next week: Bran Stark makes an epic return to the series, after missing in action for a full season. Ramsey makes plans to storm the castle and Jamie is out for blood going straight for the High Sparrow. It also looks like we will see some dragon action next week (*jumps up and down like a 5 year old).

All that is missing is some White Walker action. Hopefully that will come soon enough.

Until next week friends.

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