After the ice melted the premiere date was revealed. The Great War begins 7/16. Yes July 16^th is a long way away from now (4 months and 6 days to be exact, but who’s counting?). We got a taste of what’s to come with a quick teaser that featured house sigils and quotes from previous seasons which you can view here:

If you haven’t caught up yet don’t read the following and start binging season 6 ASAP. For those that did watch season 6 here is quick recap of what happened last season in Westeros:

Jon Snow was resurrected.

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We finally got confirmation on Jon’s parental lineage.

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Arya became a faceless (wo)man

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Ramsay Bolton was devoured by his own hounds in one the most well-deserved and disturbing scenes ever!

And of course Cersei became the protector of the realms after she blew up The High Sparrow, Margaery and countless other lives. She even caused her own son to commit suicide.

Winter is coming a little later than usual this year but just be happy it is still coming at all!

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*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY***

As we saw in the previous episode, “No One” Mereen is under fire from the Masters who have returned to the city to reclaim their slaves. Luckily for the citizens of Mereen Daenerys has returned with Drogon to protect her people. After trying to handle the situation with the Masters calmly and peacefully to no avail, Daenerys is forced to take action. She climbs on top of Drogon and flies out to the Master’s fleet of ships with Rhaegal and Viserion by their side torching ships until they are abandoned by their crew. On the ground Daario and the Dothraki descend upon the Sons of Harpy.

The main course of “Battle of the Bastards” took place in Winterfell. Here Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton came face to face. Ramsay took the cake for one-liners in this episode, claiming he was a man of mercy. That may have been the first time I laughed because he said something funny and not out of being uncomfortable when he was on screen. Sansa also threw some shade Ramsay’s way. I am really loving this strong and confident version of this character. Winterfell also broke some bad news for Sir Davos Seaworth. He discovered the wooden toy he handmade for Shireen whilst walking through the battle field. Poor, poor Davos. This scene broke my heart.

After the battle in Mereen ceased, Yara and Theon Greyjoy reach the city and strike a deal with Daenerys. Yara will make her people give up their current way of life, recognize Daenerys as the true Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and give 100 ships to help Daenerys set sail to Westeros. In return she will receive the Salt Throne and regain control of the Iron Islands. Oh and she will get help murdering her uncle Euron Greyjoy. Can’t forget that important detail.

Back in Winterfell the battle for the North has just begun. Ramsay starts off the battle with a quick game. He sets Rickon free and tells him to run to Jon, shooting arrows at the young Stark as he sprints to his brother. Just as Jon is about to reach his little brother Ramsay nails Rickon in the chest with an arrow, igniting Jon with tremendous fury. Someone should have told this kid to zig zag and not run directly in a straight line. Ramsay then sends his first line of cavalry charging at Jon. Just when you think it is all over for our favorite bastard, Jon’s men come to the rescue.

#Whenyourfriendshaveyourback:

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The slicing and dicing continues until Jon and his men are surrounded and trapped by dead bodies. Ramsay’s men then go on to play an extreme version of red rover with Jon’s men. Backed into a corner by house Bolton, the men are forced to climb onto the dead bodies. Jon unfortunately is caught in the stampede of men and is trampled upon. Luckily he is able to escape and comes up for air just in time to see Lord Petyr Baelish (aka Little Finger) and Sansa arrive with back up via the Knights of the Vale. Ramsay being the coward he is, retreats back to the castle after his men are bested. This refuge doesn’t last long, especially when you have a door-breaking giant on your side. Not wanting to look even more cowardly Ramsay agrees to a one-on-one combat match with Jon and begins firing arrows at him. Jon deflects, reaches Ramsay and begins to pummel his face. Winterfell is once again under the Stark’s reign.

By far the best part of this episode came from a combination of straight up karma and Sansa Stark. Ramsay is being held in the same holding cell where he murdered his stepmother and baby brother. After Sansa exchanges a few stern and sharp words with Ramsay she releases his hounds to feast upon him. I was praying she would murder him with her own hands but this was even better. Ramsay should have fed his hounds sooner and maybe they wouldn’t have devoured him so violently. That first snag of his face will forever haunt me. Nom, nom goodbye Ramsay!

Sansa’s character was a badass in this episode. She really stood her own ground and wasn’t afraid to put anyone in their place. This is not the same girl from earlier this season. She has really come a long way and I for one cannot wait to see what Sansa can do in the coming seasons.

On the season finale of Game of Thrones:

*this episode will be extended by 6 minutes!

Cersei and Loras’s trial

Houses Frey and Lannister celebrate victory

Petyr Baelish (Little Finger) is back to his old ways aka trying to get some from Sansa

Davos confronts Melisandre

Daenerys is “in the great game now”

Bran and possibly White Walkers????

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No one was safe in Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones. “I choose violence” was the slogan for this week’s episode of Thrones. It was practically the only theme in “No One”, granted there were a few clips of comic relief courtesy of Tyrion and Bronn. Tyrion also let us in on what he wants to be when he grows up; a vineyard owner. His wine would be called The Imp’s Delight. Who wouldn’t buy that? HBO if you are not already on this, first off shame on you and secondly give me a call and we’ll get this ball rolling.

*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. I mean unless you like spoilers…***

Heads were rolling freely in this week’s Thrones. The Clegane brothers were both back in action, slaying the day away. The Hound chose to use an axe to brutalize and decapitate his enemies while his brother, The Mountain, opted to use his bare hands, which was freaking awesome by the way!

Back in Braavos Arya weak and bleeding, made her way back to Lady Crane who helped heal Arya’s wounds. Unfortunately this would prove to be fatal for the Lady as she is murdered by Waif mere hours after dressing Arya’s wounds. Arya and Waif then play a short game of cat and mouse only for Arya to kill her and walk away victorious. Arya then heads back to the House of Black and White and confronts Jaqen H’ghar where she learns she has finally become no one. She turns the table on Jaqen H’ghar and tells him she is not no one. She is Arya Stark from Winterfell and she is going home.

Speaking of going home, Lord Varys sets sail for Westeros and Daenerys returns to Mereen just in the nick of time. The masters have sailed to Mereen to reclaim their slaves, burning down everything in their path.

At King’s Landing King Tommen delivers the biggest slap in the face to his own mother by banishing trail by combat, calling the practice barbaric and cowardly. Instead he informs Cersei and everyone else in the room that Cersei and Lancel will stand trial by seven septums like how it was back in the olden days.

Cersei’s face after hearing the announcement:

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Riverrun was no walk in the park either. #pooredmure

As predicted Edmure regained control of The Castle at Riverrun and ordered his men to stand down. This did not sit well with Blackfish, who according to one of Jamie’s men, died fighting. As we all know well by now, if a character is not killed on screen then there is a chance that character is not actually dead. Only time will tell.

Podrick and Brienne also join the ranks at Riverrun. Podrick received some fighting lessons from Bronn while Brienne shared some sweet moments with Jamie. In hopes to not have to battle Jamie and defend Sansa’s kin, Brienne attempted to persuade Blackfish to hand over the castle to Jamie. He flat out refuses but helps ensure that Podrick and Brienne are able to escape the castle safely.

Next on Game of Thrones:

Jon and his army take on the Bolton’s to regain the North.

Can you believe there are only two episodes left? Where does the time go?

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He has risen.

Members of the Game of Thrones Fandom rejoiced after Sunday’s episode. Jon Snow’s fate was finally revealed. I haven’t been this excited since Joffrey died (sorry, not sorry).

*** Stop right here if you have not seen tonight’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS LIE AHEAD ***

And the verdict is……

HE’S ALIVE!!!!!!

via GIPHY

This was one of the highs of the episode. The majority of the hour was, well…. To say dark would be a gross understatement.
Ramsay goes on a murder spree after he learns his father’s wife, Lady Bolton, has bore a son; a direct threat to his succession of the throne as this baby is not a bastard. Ramsay begins his spree by murdering his father in cold blood (does Game of Thrones really do it any other way?). Stabbing him right in front of the man who delivered news of the healthy baby to Lord Bolton. He then demands said man send word to the North that Lord Bolton was poisoned by his enemies. Ramsay then asks for Lady Bolton and the baby. She is under the impression that Lord Bolton has sent for her. She soon learns of Ramsay’s deed and pleads for her life and her newborn son’s. To which Ramsay replies “I always preferred being an only child”. Then this f****** savage whistles to his hounds who descend upon the defenseless duo. They are shredded to bits off screen although we can hear their screams.

The Greyjoys are also on the receiving end of murder by relative. In this case Balon Greyjoy is pushed off of a rickety, old, wooden bridge (they really should fix that) by his brother Euron Greyjoy, a member of the Iron Islands clan who is known for being a feared pirate on the high seas. Yara Greyjoy watches as her father’s body is pushed out to sea. She believes she is the heir to the throne but learns that may not be the case, as successors of the Salt Throne are determined by a Kingsmoot (a traditional ceremony held by inhabitants of the Iron Islands in which kings were chosen by longship captains). Yara states she will find out who killed her father and feed them, alive, to the sharks. This all awaits Theon as he ventures his way back to the Iron Islands.

While we’re on the topic of murder…. The Night’s Watch have been overthrown by Eddison Tollett and a band of Wildlings. All involved with Jon’s murder have been locked away. Their fate to be determined.
On a lighter note. Welcome back Bran Stark! In this episode we see Bran training with the Three-Eyed Raven. In his training we get to see a young Ned Stark and Rickard Stark (sidebar — what happened to this guy?) sparing. We also catch a glimpse Lyanna Stark, whom we know very little about. However, what we do know is that Ned did not like to speak of her. Did something tragic happen to her as well? Bran also sees a young Hodor, whose real name is Willis. In this vision we see Hodor is able to speak and fight.

The young Arya Stark also completes a part of her training and moves on to the next phase in becoming a face-less man. She is no longer a beggar. We are once again graced with the presence of Jaqen H’ghar. What exactly does he have in store for her? It looks like we will find out more next week.
Back at King’s Landing, Tommen and Jamie attend the funeral of Myrcella. Cersei is not invited to attend. After mourning his beloved sister, Tommen returns to his mother’s side and apologizes for not being strong enough to protect Cersei from her infamous walk of shame. He then proceeds to ask for her help in becoming a stronger leader.
Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion. His one-liners are on point this episode. Our favorite Lannister decides to take it upon himself to interact with Viserion and Rhaegal (Daenerys’ dragons). After a few heart-pounding moments and a sweet childhood story, he is able to gain the trust of the dragons and unchain them. After briskly walking away from his new dragon friends, Tyrion tells Lord Varys to punch him in the face next time he comes up with an idea like that.
So now that Jon has gotten a haircut, beard trim, a bath, oh and let’s not forget a resurrection all at the hands of Melisandre, what will our Lord and Commander do with his second chance at life?
Next Week:
Jon is reintroduced to all at Castle Black.
Arya and Bran continue their training.
Daenerys makes her way to The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak).
Ramsay receives a gift.

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