*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. YOU REALLY DON’T WANT THIS EPIC HOUR (and 9 minutes) OF TELEVISION TO BE SPOILED***

The episode opens up with contrasting shots of The High Sparrow (who represents the people) and King Tommen (who represents the high born) getting ready for Cersei and Loras’s trial. Loras Tyrell, stripped of his luscious curls and fine clothing kneels before The High Sparrow and renounces his title, land and everything else his high born status comes with and becomes a Scepter of The Seven. He is then marked and promises to never marry or bear children. Coincidentally little children played a large role in the 25 minute opening scene.

The “Little Birds” lured Grand Maester Pycelle to his death, brutally stabbing him. While this was happening another Little Bird was being chased down by Lancel Lannister. This proved to be a poor choice on his part. He consequently was stabbed in the kidney by said bird and then crawled a few feet to discover the diabolical plan Cersei had for The High Sparrow and everyone else at the trial; death by explosion. That’s right. Cersei blew up King’s Landing while she and Tommen remained in the Red Keep. If only The High Sparrow had listened to Margaery, he and his little sparrows, septums and scepters would all still be alive. Cersei’s wrath doesn’t stop there. She kidnaps Septa Unella and water boards her with wine. Cersei then takes the torment up a notch from what she received at the hands of the Septa and unleashes The Mountain upon her. Lord knows what that man-beast will do to her. She exits the room chanting “shame, shame, shame”.

Closing out the opening sequence was a shocking death. King Tommen removes his crown and jumps out the window to his death. Cersei asks for his body to be burned and his ashes spread where his grandfather, brother and sister remain. Cersei then succeeds The Iron Throne as Jamie watches from afar. A hint of disgust, possibly, in his eye?

House Frey also suffered some devastating blows. Walder Frey and his sons were executed curtesy of Arya Stark. The recent Many Faced Man graduate played the part of a young maiden serving Walder his dinner. When he asked the young woman where his sons are, she tells them right here, pointing at the food he is eating. A closer look reveals the finger of one of Walder’s sons. Arya then removes her mask and slits the throat of Walder in the same fashion her mother’s throat was slit during The Red Wedding. Thus making sure the last face he saw was of a Stark.

The Red Wedding was avenged! Hopefully Arya will find her dear Uncle Edmure and release him from his cell.

On a happier note, Samwell, Gilly and baby reach the Citadel and we all catch a glimpse of the library all other libraries dream of being.

In The North a white raven arrived from the Citadel. Winter is finally here. Sir Davos finally caught on about Shireen. Melisandre got banished and was told to ride south by Jon Snow. He also said that if she ever returns she will be hanged for murder. Even more exciting news came from The North in this episode. Lady Mormont being the tough little nugget she is calls out members of The North who failed to back Jon Snow during “The Battle of the Bastards”. After making the old men in the room realize their mistakes she names Jon Snow king of The North and the rest follow suite. However, this wasn’t the most exciting news for our new Warden of The North.

The biggest fan theory in Game of Thrones history has been confirmed! Well at least half confirmed. The Three-Eyed Raven himself, Bran Stark, took us back to the Tower of Joy and showed us Ned Stark discovering his sister Lyanna Stark in a pool of her own blood. She then whispers in his ear and asks him to promise to keep her baby safe. That baby being Jon Snow. So now, finally R+L = J (or, at the very least, x+L = J). Props to the director on the beautiful transition from baby Snow to adult Snow.

She also said the baby’s real name and possibly the biological father’s name which of course was inaudible.

Other members of House Stark also made appearances in this epic finale. Once again Sansa turns down Little Finger and Uncle Benjen leaves Bran and Meera near the wall. We learn that because Benjen is technically half dead he cannot pass through the wall as it is protected by magic; nothing undead can pass through.

Leaving the cold, we head to the more tropical weather of Dorne. Remember that place from one of the first episodes way back in April? Yea it’s still intact after all the carnage and it had two special guests; Lord Varys and Lady Olenna Tyrell. After some shade throwing, Lady Tyrell decides to align with Lord Varys who represents Daenerys and Ellaria Martell to take down Cersei once and for all.

Speaking of Dany and crew, Dany names Tyrion hand of the queen and sets sail to Westeros leaving Daairo behind to take care of Mereen. Varys rejoined the gang just as the episode (and season) closes out with a glorious birds-eye shot of Yara and Theon’s ships and Dany’s dragons.

Let the countdown to next season commence!

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*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY***

As we saw in the previous episode, “No One” Mereen is under fire from the Masters who have returned to the city to reclaim their slaves. Luckily for the citizens of Mereen Daenerys has returned with Drogon to protect her people. After trying to handle the situation with the Masters calmly and peacefully to no avail, Daenerys is forced to take action. She climbs on top of Drogon and flies out to the Master’s fleet of ships with Rhaegal and Viserion by their side torching ships until they are abandoned by their crew. On the ground Daario and the Dothraki descend upon the Sons of Harpy.

The main course of “Battle of the Bastards” took place in Winterfell. Here Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton came face to face. Ramsay took the cake for one-liners in this episode, claiming he was a man of mercy. That may have been the first time I laughed because he said something funny and not out of being uncomfortable when he was on screen. Sansa also threw some shade Ramsay’s way. I am really loving this strong and confident version of this character. Winterfell also broke some bad news for Sir Davos Seaworth. He discovered the wooden toy he handmade for Shireen whilst walking through the battle field. Poor, poor Davos. This scene broke my heart.

After the battle in Mereen ceased, Yara and Theon Greyjoy reach the city and strike a deal with Daenerys. Yara will make her people give up their current way of life, recognize Daenerys as the true Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and give 100 ships to help Daenerys set sail to Westeros. In return she will receive the Salt Throne and regain control of the Iron Islands. Oh and she will get help murdering her uncle Euron Greyjoy. Can’t forget that important detail.

Back in Winterfell the battle for the North has just begun. Ramsay starts off the battle with a quick game. He sets Rickon free and tells him to run to Jon, shooting arrows at the young Stark as he sprints to his brother. Just as Jon is about to reach his little brother Ramsay nails Rickon in the chest with an arrow, igniting Jon with tremendous fury. Someone should have told this kid to zig zag and not run directly in a straight line. Ramsay then sends his first line of cavalry charging at Jon. Just when you think it is all over for our favorite bastard, Jon’s men come to the rescue.

#Whenyourfriendshaveyourback:

via GIPHY

The slicing and dicing continues until Jon and his men are surrounded and trapped by dead bodies. Ramsay’s men then go on to play an extreme version of red rover with Jon’s men. Backed into a corner by house Bolton, the men are forced to climb onto the dead bodies. Jon unfortunately is caught in the stampede of men and is trampled upon. Luckily he is able to escape and comes up for air just in time to see Lord Petyr Baelish (aka Little Finger) and Sansa arrive with back up via the Knights of the Vale. Ramsay being the coward he is, retreats back to the castle after his men are bested. This refuge doesn’t last long, especially when you have a door-breaking giant on your side. Not wanting to look even more cowardly Ramsay agrees to a one-on-one combat match with Jon and begins firing arrows at him. Jon deflects, reaches Ramsay and begins to pummel his face. Winterfell is once again under the Stark’s reign.

By far the best part of this episode came from a combination of straight up karma and Sansa Stark. Ramsay is being held in the same holding cell where he murdered his stepmother and baby brother. After Sansa exchanges a few stern and sharp words with Ramsay she releases his hounds to feast upon him. I was praying she would murder him with her own hands but this was even better. Ramsay should have fed his hounds sooner and maybe they wouldn’t have devoured him so violently. That first snag of his face will forever haunt me. Nom, nom goodbye Ramsay!

Sansa’s character was a badass in this episode. She really stood her own ground and wasn’t afraid to put anyone in their place. This is not the same girl from earlier this season. She has really come a long way and I for one cannot wait to see what Sansa can do in the coming seasons.

On the season finale of Game of Thrones:

*this episode will be extended by 6 minutes!

Cersei and Loras’s trial

Houses Frey and Lannister celebrate victory

Petyr Baelish (Little Finger) is back to his old ways aka trying to get some from Sansa

Davos confronts Melisandre

Daenerys is “in the great game now”

Bran and possibly White Walkers????

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*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY***

Sansa meets up with the traveling time wizard himself, Little Finger (does he have a G6 somewhere? how does he move so quickly?) and rips him a new one for handing her over to Ramsay. In hopes of keeping his head, Petyr offers up some news regarding The Blackfish aka Uncle Brynden Tully and his army. Just what the Starks need in order to regain Winterfell. Here’s hoping “The North Remembers.”

Arya Stark continues to get beaten with a stick for the 5^th straight episode. She may be suffering from severe neurological damage at this point along with the emotional damage she received this episode after having to watch her family’s tragic end turned into sport. Arya also does some re-con and discovers how to kill Lady Karen and gets some shade tossed her way courtesy of Jaqen H’ghar.

Speaking of shade throwers, Lord Varys was slaying Kinvara left and right. You know it’s bad if Tyrion is trying to reel it in to keep the peace. Kinvara takes a crack at Varys and quickly silences him when she mentions someone speaking to him after his member was thrown into the fire. What we all want to know is who spoke and what did they say? According to the priestess Daenerys is the one who was promised. What about Jon? Melisandre claims he is the one who was promised, although she was wrong before (R.I.P. Stannis). More evidence pointing toward the R+L=J theory. This can’t be just a coincidence. Sidebar — how many people are in this Lord of the Light cult?

Euron Greyjoy returns to claim the Salt Throne going up against his niece Yara. He wins the majority vote and is drowned and revived to become the Salt King. Continuing on his familial murder streak he asks where his niece and nephew are so that he can murder them. Luckily, Yara and Theon escape with a fleet and some back up. Euron then asks all the iron born to build him a fleet of 1,000 ships in hopes to woo Daenerys and make her his bride and simultaneously kill his kin along the way.

The Queen of Mereen finally welcomes back Jorah with open arms only to discover his grayscale. Jorah goes on to tell his Khalessi that he loves her and always will to which she demands he find a cure, heal himself and return to her as she will need him by her side when regains her kingdom.

While on the subject of unrequited love, Tormund’s quest to melt Brienne’s icy exterior continues. He’s got it bad and she knows it.

Damn you Bran! Damn you to hell! Didn’t you ever hear of the saying curiosity gets you marked and all of your friends killed? What in the name of The Seven Gods made you think that:

1. You could touch that tree and warg by yourself?
2. That you should walk toward the army of the dead?
3. That approaching The Night’s King would be smart?

The White Walkers have no chill. They murdered the very people that created them (Leaf & The Children). The Children’s exploding fireballs did not in the least bit phase them, even with Leaf’s I Am Legend style sacrifice. They walked through the flames like:

Not only did Bran get Leaf and all The Children killed, he also got the Three-Eyed Raven slaughtered by The Night’s King and his ice machete. Now Bran is the three-eyed raven. However, this was not the most depressing scene of the night. We now know what Willis was talking about. Hodor = Hold The Door.

Sacrificing himself in hopes to save Bran, Hodor uses his body to barricade the door whilst getting gnawed on by the undead. He died honorably and gracefully without gore. May he rest in peace.

Next time on Game of Thrones:

Bran and Meera are still running, very poorly might I add, from The Night’s King and his army

Samwell returns home

Margaery prepare to purge for her sins

Cersei and Jamie retaliate

Daenerys sets out to take back what is hers

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*** Stop right here if you have not seen Sunday’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY***

As we all know from last week’s episode, Jon Snow is alive and well. At least psychically. Mentally…. Well if you had just risen from the dead, how would you feel? Moments after Jon awakes, Melisandre is already trying to recruit him to be the new, “prince that was promised.” Slow your role girl. You don’t have a good track record in keeping said Prince safe and we just got him back. Jon then gets the best pep talk ever from Davos Seaworth telling him to go out and fail again.

Tyrion was not the only one with superb one-liners in this episode. Tormund Giantsbane jabs at the size of Jon’s “member” in this episode saying, “What kind of God would have a peck that small?” That takes the cake for one-liners thus far in the season. Olenna Tyrell also threw a jab Cersei’s way.

In this episode we saw the return of young, Ned Stark as he fights to get, whom we can only assume is Lyanna Stark, out of a tower. For those that have read the books, this directly correlates with the fan theory R + L = J, as in Lyanna Stark + Prince Rhaegar Targaryen = Jon Snow. This fan theory would mean that Jon isn’t the bastard child of Ned Stark and that he could be the heir to the Iron Throne. Is this the promise that Ned made to Lyanna when she was on her death bed? The second biggest bombshell of this sequence was that Ned Stark was not the swordsman he claimed to be. He didn’t even kill Sir Arthur Dayne. Howland Reed stabbed him in the back, then Ned proceeded to cut his throat. Like Bran, we were all pissed when the Three-Eyed Raven pulled him out of the vision. He quickly whisked young Bran away after he called out to his father, who may or may not have heard him calling his name before he ran into the tower.

Also, returning to the screen was Samwell Tarly. Good to see you old chap! Seasick and all he is in much better shape than Rickon Stark and Osha who were the “gifts” given to Ramsay. R.I.P  Shaggydog. We can only hope and pray they do not meet the same fate as Ramsay’s family. But seeing how he treats his own family, there is not much hope for them.

Daenerys reached The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak). There she is stripped of her clothing and other belongings and told that by the other widows that the Khal’s are deciding her fate. Stating she would be lucky if they chose to let her live out her days with them, as she did leave the Khal’s and go off into the world on her own, which is forbidden.

Back in Mereen poor Tyrion was left alone with non-drinkers whilst Lord Varys was figuring out who is funding the Son’s of Harpies rebellion; The good masters of Astapor and The wise masters of Yunkai, with the help from their friends in Volantis.

Arya gets her sight back after some more vigorous training.

In the last moments of “Oathbreaker” we see Jon’s murderers receive death by hanging and Jon walk away from the Night’s Watch, ending his watch and leaving Eddison Tollett Castle Black.

On the next Game of Thrones:

• Sansa escapes Winterfell
• The return of Little Finger
• Jorah and Daario reach Vaes Dothrak to rescue Daenerys
• Cersei wants to “help” Margery Tyrell and stop her from having to purge her sins in front of the whole city
• Margery reunites with her brother

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He has risen.

Members of the Game of Thrones Fandom rejoiced after Sunday’s episode. Jon Snow’s fate was finally revealed. I haven’t been this excited since Joffrey died (sorry, not sorry).

*** Stop right here if you have not seen tonight’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS LIE AHEAD ***

And the verdict is……

HE’S ALIVE!!!!!!

via GIPHY

This was one of the highs of the episode. The majority of the hour was, well…. To say dark would be a gross understatement.
Ramsay goes on a murder spree after he learns his father’s wife, Lady Bolton, has bore a son; a direct threat to his succession of the throne as this baby is not a bastard. Ramsay begins his spree by murdering his father in cold blood (does Game of Thrones really do it any other way?). Stabbing him right in front of the man who delivered news of the healthy baby to Lord Bolton. He then demands said man send word to the North that Lord Bolton was poisoned by his enemies. Ramsay then asks for Lady Bolton and the baby. She is under the impression that Lord Bolton has sent for her. She soon learns of Ramsay’s deed and pleads for her life and her newborn son’s. To which Ramsay replies “I always preferred being an only child”. Then this f****** savage whistles to his hounds who descend upon the defenseless duo. They are shredded to bits off screen although we can hear their screams.

The Greyjoys are also on the receiving end of murder by relative. In this case Balon Greyjoy is pushed off of a rickety, old, wooden bridge (they really should fix that) by his brother Euron Greyjoy, a member of the Iron Islands clan who is known for being a feared pirate on the high seas. Yara Greyjoy watches as her father’s body is pushed out to sea. She believes she is the heir to the throne but learns that may not be the case, as successors of the Salt Throne are determined by a Kingsmoot (a traditional ceremony held by inhabitants of the Iron Islands in which kings were chosen by longship captains). Yara states she will find out who killed her father and feed them, alive, to the sharks. This all awaits Theon as he ventures his way back to the Iron Islands.

While we’re on the topic of murder…. The Night’s Watch have been overthrown by Eddison Tollett and a band of Wildlings. All involved with Jon’s murder have been locked away. Their fate to be determined.
On a lighter note. Welcome back Bran Stark! In this episode we see Bran training with the Three-Eyed Raven. In his training we get to see a young Ned Stark and Rickard Stark (sidebar — what happened to this guy?) sparing. We also catch a glimpse Lyanna Stark, whom we know very little about. However, what we do know is that Ned did not like to speak of her. Did something tragic happen to her as well? Bran also sees a young Hodor, whose real name is Willis. In this vision we see Hodor is able to speak and fight.

The young Arya Stark also completes a part of her training and moves on to the next phase in becoming a face-less man. She is no longer a beggar. We are once again graced with the presence of Jaqen H’ghar. What exactly does he have in store for her? It looks like we will find out more next week.
Back at King’s Landing, Tommen and Jamie attend the funeral of Myrcella. Cersei is not invited to attend. After mourning his beloved sister, Tommen returns to his mother’s side and apologizes for not being strong enough to protect Cersei from her infamous walk of shame. He then proceeds to ask for her help in becoming a stronger leader.
Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion. His one-liners are on point this episode. Our favorite Lannister decides to take it upon himself to interact with Viserion and Rhaegal (Daenerys’ dragons). After a few heart-pounding moments and a sweet childhood story, he is able to gain the trust of the dragons and unchain them. After briskly walking away from his new dragon friends, Tyrion tells Lord Varys to punch him in the face next time he comes up with an idea like that.
So now that Jon has gotten a haircut, beard trim, a bath, oh and let’s not forget a resurrection all at the hands of Melisandre, what will our Lord and Commander do with his second chance at life?
Next Week:
Jon is reintroduced to all at Castle Black.
Arya and Bran continue their training.
Daenerys makes her way to The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak).
Ramsay receives a gift.

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It’s official. The wait is finally over! Only mere hours ago season 6 of Game of Thrones premiered. The episode titled, The Red Woman.

*** Stop right here if you have not seen tonight’s episode. MAJOR SPOILERS LIE AHEAD ***

Picking up right where we left off last season, we momentarily gaze upon Jon Snow’s cold, dead body, moments before Davos Seaworth is alerted by Ghost’s barking to the tragic scene. Other members loyal to our former Lord and Commander come rushing to his side, vowing to take action against those who brought down our beloved Jon Snow. Grabbing Jon’s body they relocate him and Ghost into Davos’s holding and board up the room with their swords as their only defense.

Later in the episode we catch up with Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy who are on the run from Ramsey’s hunters and hounds. The two cross a practically frozen river and seek shelter under a toppled-over tree only to be tracked by Ramsey’s hunters and hounds. As they are about to be captured Brienne of Tarth and Podrick come to their rescue, slaughtering everyone in sight. Brienne once again swears her loyalty to Sansa who accepts.

Sansa & Theon crossing a freezing river

Back in Dorne, Prince Doran Martell and his son, Trystane Martell are brutally murdered by Ellaria, Obara, Tyene and Nymeria Sand. At least Trystane’s death was quicker than his father’s; he took a spear through the skull while his father bled out from being stabbed in the chest. Myrcella’s corpse (killed via poison on her way back from Dorne) and Jamie arrive back in King’s Landing, greeted by a broken down and beaten Cersei.

Cersei’s downward spiral of shame and guilt continues with the news of her daughter’s death. She feels as though she has failed, in her words, her perfectly, pure daughter. Everything has been taken from her and she lets Jamie know that this was all foreseen in a prophecy a witch told her long ago. Jamie comforts Cersei and vows revenge on all who have wronged the Lannister’s.

On the other side of Westerns, Jorah and Daairo set out to find Daenerys and discover she has been taken by a Khalassar. Daenerys is captured by another Khal group and momentarily becomes their slave until she reveals she was married to Khal Drago. Khal Moro, the leader of this pack, says no one will harm her but she must go to where the other Khal widows are to live out her days; The Temple of the Dosh Khaleen (Vaes Dothrak).

In this episode we also catch a glimpse of Arya Stark. She is a blind peddler on the streets but is still being trained by Waif. If you call beating a blind, defenseless girl with a stick, training. We also catch up with Tyrion and Lord Varys who are busy trying to figure out who is calling the shots for the gold faces. As they are walking the streets of Meereen we see a shot of someone spying on their conversation before all of the city’s ships are burned to a crisp.

Although the first half of this episode felt like it flew by because of all the cuts to different locations, the pace of the second half slowed down just enough to uncover one of the most exciting story arcs of the episode. We jump back to Castle Black and discover Melisandre is actually a witch and not just some crazy woman! Say what? We watch as she undresses in front of a mirror. She then removes her necklace, the first time we see her do this on screen, and once it is removed she transforms into an old woman.

Questions we are left asking after this episode’s conclusion: Now that we have seen Melisandre’s true nature, can she actually rise Jon Snow from the dead? Will Brienne and company make it to Castle Black? And if they do, what lies in store for them? Who is burning the ships in Meereen and why? What exactly will Jamie do to exact his revenge? What will become of Dorne now that the Prince and his heir are dead?

Next week: Bran Stark makes an epic return to the series, after missing in action for a full season. Ramsey makes plans to storm the castle and Jamie is out for blood going straight for the High Sparrow. It also looks like we will see some dragon action next week (*jumps up and down like a 5 year old).

All that is missing is some White Walker action. Hopefully that will come soon enough.

Until next week friends.

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